Alessandra ♥ God's Favorite ♥ A Queer and Pleasant Danger
new type of guy just dropped
Y’all need to see this billboard they put up in my city btw they made sure to make his ass poke out the side.
Why does basil smell so fucking amazing
Good points. Wait what was that first thing
why is tumblr such that you can say something people believed in the middle ages absolute orthogonal to reality and everyone will just nod?
hapdagger asked: 
i havent been on tumblr in literally like six years but i just saw this photo of the louvre detective and you were the very first person i thought of so. here you go
honestly that photo just looks like they hired an H&M model to play the detective in a porno with that cop…
Genuinely looks like the start of a movie where the thieves are hired to solve their own heist.
bonus: also a porno
So apparently it’s just a random dude who was leaving the Louvre at the time, HOWEVER the last line of the Associated Press article is incredibly funny.
~~ we’d rather keep the mystery alive ;) ~~
David Dorsey - Serene Enigma, 2025 - Oil on canvas
I’ve hear about how having cats makes you immune to hauntings, ghosts, spooky midnight noises etc but. for years I’ve been dealing with a panic response to unexpected nighttime noises, major enough that the adrenaline can keep me from falling back asleep for hours.
A few weeks of living with a cat and my brain’s been reprogrammed. last night at 4am the furry little shitmuppet broke a vase & I only woke up long enough to call her a rat bastard & roll over back to sleep
Oh shit. This totally made me realize that it must have been my cat that killed my fear of the dark. I used to be intensely scared of walking into dark spaces. Hated any area where I had to turn a light off before I could turn another one on.
Enter my mostly black demon who likes to jump out of dark spaces at me.
Now I can just walk through dark rooms with no anxiety. I’m now used to the darkness taking physical form and jumping at me. At this point if a monster did jump out of the darkness I’d instinctively reach for the cat treats to offer it.
holy crap what other fears do cats make you immune to?
I’m no longer scared to dangle my foot over the bed bc of demons with sharp claws & glowing eyes, i’m scared to dangle my foot over the bed bc of one specific small furry demon with sharp claws & glowing eyes
#fuck off beelzebub my cat has dibs
My cats are legit part of my grounding strategy for when I have sleep hallucinations. As part of my sleep paralysis, I “see” corpses in the bed next to me on a frequent basis, or shadow men lurking in the doorway; if there is a cat blissfully, softly snoring at the foot of the bed, I know I am safe, despite what my brain is trying to conjure.
the sound of my door opening slowly, but theres no one there. my cat. somethings clawing at the walls, glass or window screens, cats. somethings fucking licking my toe in the middle of the night, my fucking cat again. nothing can hurt me its all cat
Unearthly noise? Cat.
Movement out of the corner of your eye? Cat.
Objects moved? Cat.
Inexplicable smells? Cat.
Corpses (small)? Cat.
Ectoplasm right in middle of the room, which you won’t notice till you step in it? Cat.
Do cats make the ghosts go away? Nah. They just make you stop being scared.
Do cats make the ghosts
go away? Nah. They just make
you stop being scared.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
multiples of 5 are honorary even numbers to me. does anyone else feel this
I downloaded the sex mod which took 1 hour to get to work and when i had sex with him my screen jittered and there were stock moaning sounds and i got one xp
Evening gown, 1906
I just want to let you guys know Cornell’s entire library is open access (no permissions required) and there are (shocker) many books…
I drew this stupid burger I saw that brings me comfort and joy
crybaby courage