today some guy with a mine craft shirt came up and ordered some bologna and the price came up as 4.04 and he said “4.04… bologna not found” under his breath
shit. shit both are so good. how to choose.
tamara you are MISSING it we are praising your name for bringing this friendship upon us
im now a certified australian according to derwent
also THEYRE COMING TO NYC IN A COUPLE MONTHS WE’RE GONNA ACTUALLY HANG OUT CAN YOU BELIEVE IT
THANK YOU TAMARA THANK YOU
derwent called me out on being the australian version of a weeaboo
and then they called me a weearoo unaware that i have called myself a kangaboo in the past
hey at least we got the same animal
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
i had to make a fake profile for match.com bc of featurepoints but i put the height requirement at 8’11
good luck finding me matches now B)
it weirds me out that there are apps to turn your phone into a vibrator???? like what are you supposed to do, saran wrap it first???? omfg i just know at least one person in the world must have shoved their phone where the sun don’t shine and that information keeps me up at night
When relatives/random people im forced to engage with start talking about gay people like some mysterious unknowable entity