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Alessandra. Send me nudes if you want a pizza roll.
3DS FC: 3110-4636-5515
Snapchat: breastfast
ACNL Dream Address: 5000-4174-5809



Posted on 27th Aug at 2:07 PM, with 63,425 notes
*fills mason jar with vodka* i’m doing a cleanse
Posted on 27th Aug at 2:03 PM, with 1,182 notes

chevalierdog:

today some guy with a mine craft shirt came up and ordered some bologna and the price came up as 4.04 and he said “4.04… bologna not found” under his breath

Posted on 27th Aug at 2:00 PM, with 1 note

nightjarlette replied to your post: derwent called me out on being the aus…

shit. shit both are so good. how to choose.

tamara you are MISSING it we are praising your name for bringing this friendship upon us

im now a certified australian according to derwent 

also THEYRE COMING TO NYC IN A COUPLE MONTHS WE’RE GONNA ACTUALLY HANG OUT CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

THANK YOU TAMARA THANK YOU 

Posted on 27th Aug at 1:37 PM, with 4 notes

derwent called me out on being the australian version of a weeaboo

and then they called me a weearoo unaware that i have called myself a kangaboo in the past 

hey at least we got the same animal 

Posted on 27th Aug at 1:35 PM, with 7,472 notes

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

Posted on 27th Aug at 1:07 PM, with 1 note

i had to make a fake profile for match.com bc of featurepoints but i put the height requirement at 8’11

good luck finding me matches now B)

Posted on 27th Aug at 1:03 PM, with 49,167 notes

jaclcfrost:

jaclcfrost:

[inhales] [exhales] [looks out into the sunset] the sweet smell of not being in high school

[remembers that i have no idea what i want to do for my future] [continues to stare out into the sunset] shit

Posted on 27th Aug at 1:02 PM

knuckerdragger replied to your post: it weirds me out that there are apps t…

They’re pitifully weak too

yeah i would assume so i mean phones dont vibrate as much as they used to man 

Posted on 27th Aug at 12:55 PM, with 3 notes

it weirds me out that there are apps to turn your phone into a vibrator???? like what are you supposed to do, saran wrap it first???? omfg i just know at least one person in the world must have shoved their phone where the sun don’t shine and that information keeps me up at night

Posted on 27th Aug at 12:41 PM, with 6,730 notes
jerryterry:

Based on this post, I turned a stupid poster into a stupid poster.

jerryterry:

Based on this post, I turned a stupid poster into a stupid poster.

Posted on 27th Aug at 12:30 PM, with 351 notes

nikittypaprika:

When relatives/random people im forced to engage with start talking about gay people like some mysterious unknowable entity

image

Posted on 27th Aug at 12:11 PM, with 218,637 notes
whenever i try and learn something new
me: It seems that I am not immediately excellent at this
me:
me:
me:
me:
me: it is because I am a failure
me: everything I touch dies
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